For Family and Friends

Q: How is having an infant in the NICU different from caring for a newborn at home?

A: Caring for a newborn at home typically revolves around a cycle of feeding, changing, and sleeping. However, when your baby is in the NICU, it’s a much more intense experience. Parents often find themselves juggling tasks like pumping, sterilizing bottles, working, and managing their household in between frequent trips to the hospital. This can leave them physically and mentally drained, with limited time for anything else.

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Q: What are some specific ways I can help a family with a baby in the NICU?

A: Many parents may be too overwhelmed to ask for help, so offering specific tasks is a great way to support them. Here are some ideas:

 

• Take care of other children, pets, or aging parents.

• Cook a meal in a container they don’t have to return.

• Help with housework or yard maintenance (mowing, shoveling, etc.).

• Offer to do their laundry and return it clean and folded.

• Sort their mail, separating important bills from junk mail.

• Run errands, such as grocery shopping.

• Provide transportation to and from the hospital.

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Q: How can I help with emotional support without being intrusive?

A: Respecting boundaries is crucial. Here are some tips:

 

• Ask, “What can I do to help?” rather than making assumptions.

• Don’t be offended if parents are too tired or stressed to include you at times.

• Respect their wishes about celebrating the birth. Some may want to celebrate, while others may prefer to wait until the baby is home.

• Refrain from comparing their baby to others or commenting on the baby’s size.

• Offer to update family and friends so parents don’t have to spend all their time communicating.

 

Q: Is there anything I should know about visiting the NICU?

A: Yes, NICUs have strict rules to protect vulnerable infants. Here’s how you can be supportive:

 

• Don’t visit if you or anyone in your household is sick.

• Respect the privacy of other families in the NICU.

• Always follow the hospital's guidelines.

• Ask parents ahead of time if and when they feel comfortable with visits.

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Q: How can I help after the baby is discharged from the NICU?

A: The support shouldn’t stop when the baby leaves the NICU. Parents of preemies often face new challenges at home. You can help by:

 

• Continuing to offer help with meals, housework, or errands.

• Respecting their need for extra caution, especially during cold and flu season. Preemies are more vulnerable to infections, so avoid visiting if you’re sick.

• Offering emotional support, as the first months at home can still feel overwhelming and isolating.

• Check in to see how they’re doing.

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Q: Why is it important to offer specific help instead of saying, “Let me know if you need anything”?

A: While it’s kind to offer help, parents may be too exhausted or overwhelmed to ask for what they need. By suggesting specific tasks, like “I’ll pick up groceries for you” or “I can walk your dog,” you make it easier for them to accept your assistance.

 

Q: What should I avoid saying or doing when offering support?

A: Be mindful of the following:

 

• Avoid making comments about the baby’s size, weight, or comparing them to other babies.

• Don’t share information about prematurity unless you’ve had personal experience or are asked for advice.

• Respect parents' emotional space if they withdraw or need time alone. NICU stays can be stressful, and everyone copes differently.

 

Q: What’s the best way to stay informed about the baby’s progress without overwhelming the parents?

A: Offer to help by communicating updates to extended family and friends. This can relieve some of the pressure on parents to constantly keep everyone informed.

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Q: What resources are available for friends and family to better understand NICU life?

A: If you want to learn more about prematurity and NICU experiences, choose your sources carefully. Respect parents' boundaries by not sharing information unless they ask. The focus should always be on supporting them emotionally and practically.

 

 

Conclusion

Supporting parents with an infant in the NICU requires thoughtful, sensitive action. Offering specific help, respecting their boundaries, and continuing your support after they bring their baby home can make a tremendous difference during this challenging time. Whether it’s running errands, offering emotional support, or simply being there, your help matters.

 

This information was generously provided by parents Jonathan Foster and Kate Robson.